Note: The beginning of this book starts at the botom of the page

After reading the last chapter you are probably saying to yourself what is this guy on about. He claims to be a motivational coach and yet he is making me feel depressed with his hard luck stories.
You must understand that this is my journey not yours and I’m telling it like it was back then in order for you to appreciate how different my life is today.
The reason I’m sharing my journey through life with you is because I want you to learn from my mistakes of the past and for me to do that then I’m afraid there is no gain without pain.
Janine was the first born sibling in our family of 8 followed by another sister Barbara.
Then there was Kenneth but his life only lasted a few days. I was the next to be given life followed closely by my sister Heather.

My Sister Heather
It was a day of excitement for me when I put on my new uniform getting ready for my first day at College. I went into the lounge room to show my young sister how good I looked. The look on my sister’s face was not something I expected. She was lying on the floor kicking and shaking all over. I thought my healthy young 11 year old sister was dying. The doctor came and she was diagnosed with epilepsy. It was a mental illness that I didn’t understand and one that I never bothered to learn about.
All I could think about was the embarrassment I felt whenever Heather rolled her eyes or fell down kicking in front of my friends. My parents did their best in trying to allow Heather to lead a normal life but things were so difficult for her. My sister died in her early 30’s after her frail body could no longer cope with the mental pressure of epileptic seizures. While I felt guilty about taking my young brothers life I felt more guilty about the way I treated my young sister.
As a teenager I did not want my young sister hanging around in my company embarrassing me in front of my friends. My parents and I had several arguments because I would not take my sister to the dances or the movies with me. I did not want to see her rolling her eyes of falling over in front of my friends. I can remember her at my wedding reception she fell off the chair and everybody stared. If ever I wanted God to forgive me for one of my biggest sins in life it would be the way in which I failed to accept my sisters illness. I wish she was still alive so I could love her they way all sisters should be loved.

My Brother Bill
After Heather came my next younger brother Bill. For some strange reason I never cemented a bonding relationship with Bill and I still don’t today. Whenever we get together we often finish up yelling at each other for childish reasons. As the oldest boy in the family I was always the one my parents called on for help and my younger brother Bill was quite jealous. I remember once when we were both teenagers, Bill gave me a shove and told me to get off my high horse. I reacted wrongly and we had a stand up fist fight while my father stood by and let us fight. My father was from the old school believing all boys need to find their pecking order in a family.
As I was the oldest and strongest boy my brother got the black eyes and the thick lip.
We both went to rugby the next day and I was the one who got called a big bully by my mates.

My Brother Kevin

 Kevin was the baby of our family of 8 and he was the one that got spoilt.
Although my father was a kind father I don’t ever remember him giving me a cuddle. One day I saw him cuddling my brother Kevin and I don’t know why but I felt so jealous.
After Trevor died I put all my brotherly love and affection towards Kevin. We became the best of mates. Kevin was a great Rugby player. He played half back and dreamed of playing for the All Blacks one day.
He came down to the South Island to stay with us and have a holiday. I took him to work with me and it was great time of bonding for us both.
A few weeks after he returned home I received a call from my mother telling me that Kevin had been taken to hospital and diagnosed with leukemia. I will never forget wheeling him around the hospital gardens with his hair falling out I just knew I was about to lose another brother.
I felt so helpless after all what do you say to your young brother that was your best mate and you know he is about to die and leave you forever.
He died at the tender young age of 19 and left me wondering why.
Two brothers and a sister taken out of my life. What was God doing to me and who would be next?